one month later

wow man it's been A WHILEEEE. okay first things first, i'm super drained from work and school. every week gets busier and busier. i honestly run on my natural energy every single week, and i wonder where it all comes from?!?! TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS = no fun. hahah. because i wake up super duper trooper early in the morning for school and my brain is going all day long then i have to drive to san diego then drive home, and i've honestly fallen asleep for about 2 seconds about five times in the past two weeks. BUT, it'll all pay off in the end (: right? RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT!

on a serious note, i've been wondering why why why? why does something always have to go totally wrong? well, i've been dealing with my problems in a very good way (in my opinion), because i just don't think about them lol. haha so i don't stress so much. but you know how you can only run from your problems for so long? and the time comes and you eventually have to deal with it like a big girl. well yeah that time has kind of came for me? like i can still push the issues to the bottom of my 'list to deal with' but at the same time the issues are taunting me. i want to make an effort to fix things, but i'm honestly tired of always trying to fix things when the opposite end isn't doing a very good job in cooperating (if that makes any type of sense). i'm also thinking that i shouldn't even try and fix it because PEOPLE change, good or bad it's just reality. but, what bugs me the most is that IDK WHAT HAPPENED FOR THINGS TO CHANGE!!!! like i haven't done something totally wrong to create the tension or whatever. UGH UGH UGH UGH. there's always parts of my life that are shades of grey (meaning bad), but my friendships are one thing i don't want to be a shade of grey, i want it to be like a freaking rainbow, so fruity and pretty. anyways, like i said i've been debating whether or not i should step up (like always) and fix the situationS or just let it be. and i've came up with a solution!!! ... i'm just going to let it be because if my friendship with them meant something then they'll step up this time and make something happen. whatever happens is just going to happen. the end.

UPSIDE THOUGH! well tmrw, is supposed to be a "no fun" day but i decided to just skip school and go to the America's Best Dance Crew Finale. i deserve a litte fun for allll my hard work and dedication. but, downer is we have to wait for like 3439347 hours to make sure we get in. whatevs as long as i get roscoe's chicken afterwards, it's all good.