It's Going to be Alright

Just woke up and thought I'd try
Try to step across the line
You know that I've been thinking about it for a while

LOFTD

"I want it all, that's why I strive for it"

LOFTD

"Right under my feet

there's air made of bricks

Pulls me down turns me weak for you

I find myself repeating like a broken tune

Without me knowing

They melt my heart to stone"

long time no blog

To catch up on this whole blogging thing: SCHOOL HAS BEEN KICKING MY BEHIND! man oh man am I so busy due to school. There are some days I ask myself, "Is this really worth it?!" and I just end up shaking that question off because I realize my future is worth everything! If I think about I am half way there and it's too late to turn back now.

“ The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting" Andy Warhol

Other than school and work my social life has been put on hold. Because when I do find free time I consume that with eating, sleeping, and watching TV just being lazy. So if you see me elsewhere you'll be witnessing a rare event. Though I wish I did have time or even the energy to socialize because I miss my friends and "going out" but this semester I promised myself to get my priorities straight and school is at the top of my list for once. This semester I find myself more determined and driven and at times I surprise myself with all the things I have accomplished.

As of the moment I am done. I got to get to class, so ttyl.

lol

I SHOULD DELETE MY ACCOUNT. lmao mayo.

one month four days

W/out blogging hahahha. It's been AWHILEEE. This past month has been really hectic. Update: LAKERS WIN CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!(: , adjusted to my new room and house, finished spring semester with sort of good grades, celebrated Lisa's birthday, registered for my CNA class (waited in line for 12 hrs), worked 9347394 hrs, and I'm ready for summer to kick off.

P.S. I still think twitter is kinda dumb

pat on the back

So far, what a productive day although I had a bad start. Let me tell you why my day started not on the oh so good side: Well I was supposed to work a morning shift today from 9am - 2pm and so last night I set my alarm for 730am and this morning I'm guessing my alarm rang and instead of hitting snooze I turned my alarm off. UH yeah. I finally got enough energy to look at the clock because I had a feeling my alarm was going to go off soon and when I glanced at the clock it was 830am. At first I thought I was dreaming that I was late to work (cause I have before) but it wasn't a dream because my brother was on his way to school. I frantically got up brushed my teeth, combed my hair and put on clothes. I ran out the door to my car without make up on and with no shoes. I drove like the crazy Asian that I am to the mall and spared myself 10 minutes to get myself ready. But with the 15 minutes I had to get ready I felt like crap throughout my shift. But whatevers at least I made it through that five hours.
Well I just finished my 2500 word research paper (2300 words for me) and it feels good. Now, hopefully my sickness won't drain me so I continue with all the productivity. What I have left is to just practice my speech and then I could knock out to HYD in the background ....

Yesterday: I'M SOOOO HAPPY LAKERS WON THE FIRST GAME. The last minute of the game was so intense it felt like it was a game seven instead of the first game. Go Lakers! Woo.

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So, I'm going to take a power nap in a little because my immune system is in great need of it. I'm sick and it's hot not a very good combination. But before I go take my nap I wanted to blog about some random things. I WANT TO START BAKING! Not baking like let's get the mix, eggs, oil and the oven. I mean straight baking from scratch. I WANT TO START COOKING as well! I want to be able to cook without needing a recipe or anything. But I have no idea where to start. Maybe I'll start with the baking. Downside is the money to even start this desire of mine and the fact that this want is going to cause trouble to my weight. Hahhaha. I could look but not touch the things I would make could be a solution? But that would need patience and control which I seem to lack when it comes to food -_-

NOTE TO SELF: Learn to bake from scratch before Christmas (that leaves plenty of time because I'm a pro at procrastinating)

"You never really leave a place or person you love. Part of them you take with you, leaving a part of yourself behind."

just gotta make it

mood: emotional roller coaster

studied hard = no pay off. work is getting better. finished class in SD but only half way there -_-. found out that I have to move once again = need to pack in less than a week. spring semester is almost over. finished writing my speech; now I just have to present it askdjfie. still have to write my research paper while packing?! almost lisa's bday = LA gateaway! oh and yeah I hate liars ....

one hour and one day

... left of being a eighteen year old. WOW! time really slips out of your hands. idk why turning nineteen has been bugging me. I look forward to growing older and closer to my dreams but at the same time a big part of me wants to stay young and restricted. lol that sounds absurd. now that my birthday is coming close I'm becoming too sentimental and indecisive. for example, I've been talking about how it's almost my birthday since Christmas and now that it's around the corner I want time to just freeze until I catch my breath. lately, I've been thinking too much. most of my thinking is about how I'm amazed about the people in my life and how they're still here. I remember birthdays ago I was waiting to be old enough to drive, then get a job and now I'm waiting to be old enough to start my own life. amazing dude. also, I'm happy that God has blessed me for almost nineteen years. in my mind my birthday is kind of like a new year, I think of it as opportunity for a new start or a clean slate. I'm going to try my hardest to live it up in my nineteenth year because next year I'll be twenty -_- GROSS!

btw, I find it so funny how I don't even look my age whatevs.

just OUR luck

today was a very productive and long day because I actually went and stayed in all my classes hahah. but class in SD was very interesting and depressing at the same time. what had happened was .... this female recruiter from Sharp's Hospital came to shed some light and give us knowledge on the medical market. all she came with was bad news and advice to make the bad news less bad? (if that makes any sense) well okay let me explain because she was telling us the numbers, ratios, and chances of getting a job for Sharp's (one major hospital in SD) and the numbers weren't music to my ears. basically she was saying that if you don't have any experience then good luck finding the job your aiming for in the medical field because hospitals are looking for nurses with experience and credibility so new grads have a slim chance on getting hired. plus, the fact that our economy is down on the dumps most hospitals aren't hiring as much nurses and what not. she also said that Sharp's Hospital gets 3,000 new applications every month. that's crazy if you think about it. after hearing these news I decided on a new career path - i'm just going to pursue being a bum. the reality that this recruiter bestowed upon me tonight really shot my faith and confidence to the ground and stepped on it and then fed it to lions. but she made up for it when she starting giving us advice and tips in order to increase your chance on getting hired even if your a new graduate. she said that you should look at the job your aiming for and research the requirements and if you don't qualify get yourself to meet the requirements. she advised volunteering or even finding a job in a medical environment would be a plus on your resume. also, being bi-lingual and having good computer skills is a plus on your part. even this lady was about to make walk out of the class she encouraged us to believe in yourself and work hard or else you'll stay where your at and not get anywhere. so, I'm going to do just that. I'm going to work hard and some day and some way it'll all work out.

random thought: isn't it just our luck that the economy is going through a recession, depression or whatever in our generation? idk man I just wish our economy wasn't going through this because it'll affect our future and our future family. eh, whatevs.

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so, i've been contemplating on what to blog about recently and i have something! hah. well i was at work today and i just discovered a pet peeve of mine. i really don't have any that i can think right away anyway. BUT, okay so i'm working by the registers and i'm putting accessories away and looked down on the floor and saw a girl wearing open toed heels with her big toe hanging off the front of her shoe and boy, did i want to say something to her! i just think it annoys me because it looks SUPER unattractive. other than discovering a pet peeve, working, eating and not sleeping i just want to watch seveenteen again! .... gah i hate how the movies rip you off. i'll probably go see it if people say it's worth the money. the only movie i've paid for recently is Hannah Montana with my sister. honestly, i really liked it so go see it!!!!!!! i'll probably see it again when it hits Temeku and only pay $4 instead of $10.
another story, last night i went clubbing with lisa and others at Belo in San Diego and let me tell you there were so many "light-skinned" people!! most of the girls had t-shirts as dresses and this one chick danced with six dudes in one song and every dance she had one leg up and she was doing a hump dance. i was pretty amazed and disgusted at the same time. lol. and theeennn there was this other girl who had a mini t-shirt dress on and when she was getting low all you saw was her butt cheek and thigh. idk man. i guess you can blame it on the alcohol? i'm sorry for talking crap though .... sometimes i just don't get it. but other than seeing ridiculous drunk people last night it was pretty fun. btw, i think jerking circles are so entertaining to watch hahahhaha.

Interesting ...

Human birth control pills work on gorillas

An octopus has three hearts

Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air

People with darker skin will not wrinkle as fast as people with lighter skin

one month later

wow man it's been A WHILEEEE. okay first things first, i'm super drained from work and school. every week gets busier and busier. i honestly run on my natural energy every single week, and i wonder where it all comes from?!?! TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS = no fun. hahah. because i wake up super duper trooper early in the morning for school and my brain is going all day long then i have to drive to san diego then drive home, and i've honestly fallen asleep for about 2 seconds about five times in the past two weeks. BUT, it'll all pay off in the end (: right? RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT!

on a serious note, i've been wondering why why why? why does something always have to go totally wrong? well, i've been dealing with my problems in a very good way (in my opinion), because i just don't think about them lol. haha so i don't stress so much. but you know how you can only run from your problems for so long? and the time comes and you eventually have to deal with it like a big girl. well yeah that time has kind of came for me? like i can still push the issues to the bottom of my 'list to deal with' but at the same time the issues are taunting me. i want to make an effort to fix things, but i'm honestly tired of always trying to fix things when the opposite end isn't doing a very good job in cooperating (if that makes any type of sense). i'm also thinking that i shouldn't even try and fix it because PEOPLE change, good or bad it's just reality. but, what bugs me the most is that IDK WHAT HAPPENED FOR THINGS TO CHANGE!!!! like i haven't done something totally wrong to create the tension or whatever. UGH UGH UGH UGH. there's always parts of my life that are shades of grey (meaning bad), but my friendships are one thing i don't want to be a shade of grey, i want it to be like a freaking rainbow, so fruity and pretty. anyways, like i said i've been debating whether or not i should step up (like always) and fix the situationS or just let it be. and i've came up with a solution!!! ... i'm just going to let it be because if my friendship with them meant something then they'll step up this time and make something happen. whatever happens is just going to happen. the end.

UPSIDE THOUGH! well tmrw, is supposed to be a "no fun" day but i decided to just skip school and go to the America's Best Dance Crew Finale. i deserve a litte fun for allll my hard work and dedication. but, downer is we have to wait for like 3439347 hours to make sure we get in. whatevs as long as i get roscoe's chicken afterwards, it's all good.

TRYING

well it's been a while since i've actually blogged and honestly i'm not going to be here for a while. i'm going to TRY and find myself, so i'll brb.

new year but same old

it's kind of weird how i just realized that it's a new year which means i get a chance for a new start. so my new year is STARTING TODAY! &because it's a new year i'm going to need new goals. & i just remembered that there is a saying that writing out your goals is more helpful because writing them out and having everyone see them gives you a more sense of responsibility. so here it goes:

• pay off my credit card once &for all
• using my credit card only for gas &emergencies
• quit shopping every time i go to work -_-
• STUDY, STUDY, STUDY moreee
• finish spring semester with a 3.0+
• finish class @grossmont with an A or B
• stop eating junk allll the time (that's going to be hard)

well for now that's enough. when i'm done reaching one of these goals i'll add another. so if any of you readers catches me slipping, you better regulate! PLS. HAHA &thank yous.